HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH OPPOSITION?

Resistance is not a myth. It is real and it faces us daily. We can wish it away, avoid it or ignore it when we kid ourselves. The truth is we must deal with it. You want to be successful? You must deal with resistance. The higher the height we plan to reach, the higher the magnitude of resistance we will deal with. Nature itself accommodates resistance. It has its uses. It is the focus of a lot of effort in order to get useful work done. We need resistant force to sit, stand, cut, grind and do a host of other things. Yet to move, lift and penetrate we need to overcome resistance. The question then is do you know how to deal with opposition?

Battles to avoid

The common mistake in dealing with opposition is to fight all resistance. We see everything and everyone that opposes us as an enemy. The mantra is if you are not with us then you are against us. This is a great error that we create to oppose ourselves. All battles are not ours to fight. Yet there are battles we must stand up and fight.

To avoid this error, we must choose our battles. We must avoid battles over trivial issues. There are issues that do not add any value to our success journey. Battles over personality clash will not bring any enduring advantage to us. If we win, we will only get the praise of being a better person. But we will gain a disgraced enemy who is bitter and seeking to cause us pain just for the sake of avenging his shame.

We must avoid battles that makes us lose sight of the big picture and occupy us with things that looks important but do not lead to our destination. The greatest defeat is to lose our purpose in the midst of activities (battles). We can get busy with the battle for a meal while we forgot about the work that needs to be done on our farm. So many of us are engrossed in the battle for survival that we do not have time or resources left to fight the battle of our purpose. We are not created to survive; we are created to live for a purpose. We should not be engrossed with the battle and forget the war. If we win battles and lose the war, we are still the loser. Fight only battles that helps you win the war – your purpose.

We should avoid fighting the battles we cannot win but rather develop dynamic strategy to live with them. There are battles we cannot win. Our victory lies in, despite the raging of these battles, we still accomplish our purpose in life. Nick Vujicic comes to mind in this respect. He was born without limbs. He trusted God for a creative miracle while growing up. But learn to adapt and live on purpose. He became an inspiration even for those who have their four limbs intact. Some would have used such a battle as an excuse to fail while for some all their energy and resources will be wasted fighting such battles until they become weak, tired and frustrated. There are battles we cannot win. Identify them, develop a dynamic strategy to live with them and fulfill your purpose despite them.

Battles to fight - first set your goals

Now for the battles we need to fight, determine from the onset what is victory for you. It is not all battles you fight to annihilate the enemy. There are battles you should fight to turn the enemy into a friend. The aim of engaging in a battle determines the strategy to use. The strategy to annihilate enemies will be different from the strategy for turning enemies into friends. Carefully identify your goals and objective for engaging in a battle. Do not rush into battle without knowing when to stop fighting having obtained the desired victory.

The rule I subscribe to is this, if the enemy is human, the aim is to turn him into a friend. But in doing this adequate precaution is taken to make sure the enemy does not annihilate me before I achieve my aim of turning him into a friend. Not all men values human life. As such it does not matter to them if they destroy you. But you cannot imbibe evil because of the enemy. You must always fight from a higher pedestal, having a superior moral and spiritual view of the situation.

Some of the greatest battles will be fought within the silent chambers of your own soul. - Ezra Taft Benson

Conquer yourself and defend your heart

Therefore the first enemy you must conquer is yourself. In every human there is a tendency to be inhuman; a tendency to be irrational and destructive under threat to life and or wellbeing. In a battle situation the threat is real and direct. You are faced with an urgent call to action; an action for self preservation and achieving a passionate goal. The passion is high. The pressure is harassing. This creates an environment that promotes selfishness, thoughtlessness and ruthlessness. These are self destructive tendency that must be conquered. Side by side with these exists the tendency to be good, to love and be loved, to be rational and promote mutual wellbeing. This is a battle which rages in our soul. The evil and irrational self is the enemy within us that we must conquer. Until we discipline ourselves to refuse these self destructive tendencies from ruling over us we will be at the mercy of our enemies. We will destroy ourselves even before the enemy fires the first shot.

We must not allow the battle to destroy our heart. Once we lose our moral and spiritual essence in the midst of the battle then the enemy has won. It does not matter if we win the battle physically and materially. The fact that we have become evil in the passion to survive and become successful is the greatest defeat we can ever experience. Success is no longer success when we don’t have the peace of mind and the rest of the soul to enjoy it. Success is a complete wellbeing of the body, soul and the spirit. Don’t lose your soul in the heat to win the battle!

Know the opposition

Now, having conquered yourself you must evaluate the opposition. Know what you are up against. Know as much as you can about the enemy’s strength and weakness. Try to identify the enemy’s aim in the battle and his grievance against you. In essence know who is fighting you!

True there will be some who will oppose you for cynical and irrational reasons and just want to see you fail and suffer but most have reasons for opposing you. You must take your time in acquainting yourself with the enemy and know the root cause of the enmity. It is vital in planning your defense and offence.

Some might oppose you out of sheer envy and competition. Some might be out of genuine misunderstanding of you. Some might be out of real and direct pain you caused them. Some might be open to reconciliation while some are closed to it. Some might be irrational, foolish and blinded by their passion and hatred. Some will be rational and calculative, able to think beyond their passion and hatred. Whatever you do you must know him that oppose you and for what reason!

There are also enemies that deliberately make themselves anonymous. It is the strategy that they have chosen against you. These are the most dangerous of enemies you can have. They stay close to you, follow you, watch you and collect information about you. They will hit you where it pains you most and watch as you suffer and fail. You must be sensitive and wise or this type of enemy will destroy you.  And yet you won’t know they are the enemy.

What you need to look for with these enemies is pattern. They usually leave a trace without knowing it. Look for that trace. Sometimes they get over-confident of their tactics and get unavoidably close to revealing themselves. The skills of battle you must have with this sort of enemy are watchfulness, sensitivity to your environment and atmosphere and ability to see pattern.  Once you discover this pattern and you pick up their trace don’t let them know. You must play the game with them and collect information about them. Know who they are and why they oppose you.

Use the information you collect on your enemy to prepare your battle plan. But remember in all of these your aim is reconciliation and mutual wellbeing without being naïve.

Wisdom and strength in battle

Wisdom is practical. Wisdom always wins. Strength is fierce and stoic. Strength can move things. Strength can withstand things. Strength doesn’t always win. There are lot of things strength can do. But strength cannot do all things. Wisdom can do all things. Wisdom always achieves its aim.

We need strength. We need physical, mental and spiritual strength. We must acquire this attribute. We must be physically strong. We must be mentally tough. And we must be spiritually gifted. But all these will not win our wars for us. If we are not careful they might even become impediment to victory as they give us false confidence.

Wisdom put our strength in perspective and deplores it efficiently and effectively. Wisdom gives us the understanding that the opposition is strong too. The opposition might even be stronger than we are. But wisdom let us see how little strength applied in the right place, at the right time and in the right way can achieve tremendously greater result than Herculean strength without wisdom.

Wisdom can give us insight into how we can use our opponent’s strength even to our advantage. Wisdom sees resources, opportunities and methods. Wisdom sees situations, problems and oppositions. Wisdom weaves them all together in harmony and brings out beauty, result and victory.

In your battles and war depend more on wisdom than strength. When you are tempted to force your way through with strength pause and allow wisdom to guide you. While strength is forcing its way through and you seem to be winning the battle you might actually be losing the war. But when wisdom seems too slow and losing the battle it might actually be winning the war. Wisdom dares strength but thoughtfully appreciates its usefulness and weakness.

Be courageous!

Courage is one of the fruit of wisdom and essential character required for victory while strength unwittingly produces the fruit of false confidence. Courage is not an opposite of fear. It is a Siamese twin of fear where great character exists. When fear arises wisdom creates courage. This is the confidence that in the face of fierce and strong opposition there is still a way to achieve ones goals and aspirations.

Courage faces the fear of devastating defeat and picks up the resourcefulness of wisdom to battle opposition and achieve the desired result. Courage roars despite fear. Courage refuses to be cowed. Courage reasoned if the aim is for greater good and the opposition is morally flawed then the battle is worth fighting. Courage reasoned that the good that will be achieved by the result is sufficient inspiration to suffer the pain and shame of possible defeat. Therefore the opposition loses its fierceness and its de-motivation. Courage treads on in wisdom.

Defeat is not final!

Defeat is often dreadfully contemplated yet it is a possible outcome. Even those who have won their wars have tasted defeats in several battles. When defeat comes we must be courageous to stand, learn from our failure and continue the fight. We might lose some battles but we will win the war. But if we lack courage to continue, the lost of the battle will be the end of the war. It ought not to be!

Defeat in battle is not final. It is the outcome of the war that matters. We must not lose the war!

Magnanimity in victory

And victory is sweet. A conqueror has spoils. He has fame. And he has influence. What must he do with all these resources?

They can be used for selfish purposes; to exalt self; to subdue others; to indulge ones ostentatious living; and to oppress ones enemies.

On the other hand they can be used for noble causes; to spread wellbeing around us; to lift people up; to address societal evils; and to heal the wounds of the war we have just won.

Magnanimity is a great virtue of a conqueror. It is the true response in victory. A magnanimous conqueror has shown that he has not only won the outward war but he has won the most important war – the inward one.

Victory is sweetest with magnanimity!                  

The war chest                                                                                                                                     

1. Abide under the shadow of the Almighty and have peace within yourself. 'Live under the protection of God Most High and stay in the shadow of God All-Powerful. Then you will say to the LORD, “You are my fortress, my place of safety; you are my God, and I trust you.” The Lord will keep you safe from secret traps and deadly diseases. He will spread his wings over you and keep you secure. His faithfulness is like a shield or a city wall. You won’t need to worry about dangers at night or arrows during the day. And you won’t fear diseases that strike in the dark or sudden disaster at noon. You will not be harmed, though thousands fall all around you. And with your own eyes you will see the punishment of the wicked. The LORD Most High is your fortress. Run to him for safety, and no terrible disasters will strike you or your home. God will command his angels to protect you wherever you go. They will carry you in their arms, and you won’t hurt your feet on the stones. You will overpower the strongest lions and the most deadly snakes. The Lord says, “If you love me and truly know who I am, I will rescue you and keep you safe. When you are in trouble, call out to me. I will answer and be there to protect and honor you. You will live a long life and see my saving power.”'   Psalm 91 (CEV)                                                       
2. Walk in love and you will disarm reconcilable enemy and be unshakeable to those who reject your olive branch. 'Love is kind and patient, never jealous, boastful, proud, or rude. Love isn’t selfish or quick tempered. It doesn’t keep a record of wrongs that others do. Love rejoices in the truth, but not in evil. Love is always supportive, loyal, hopeful, and trusting. Love never fails!' 1Conrithians 13:4 – 8a (CEV)                                                                                                                     
3. Let God teach you and lead you in your battles and war. 'You teach my hands to fight and my arms to use a bow of bronze… Teach me to follow you, LORD, and lead me on the right path because of my enemies.'  Psalm 18:34; 27:11 (CEV)                                               
4. Use only the weapons of war that God has made available to you and be filled with prayer. 'Put on all the armor that God gives, so you can defend yourself against the devil’s tricks. We are not fighting against humans. We are fighting against forces and authorities and against rulers of darkness and powers in the spiritual world. So put on all the armor that God gives. Then when that evil day comes, you will be able to defend yourself. And when the battle is over, you will still be standing firm… Never stop praying, especially for others. Always pray by the power of the Spirit. Stay alert and keep praying for God’s people.'  Ephesians 6: 11 – 18 (CEV)